tie game [2007.12.06]

You know, I have generally tried my best to avoid what I perceive to be the cliché things to write about when it comes to my experience as an English teacher in Japan, but I am going to forego all that and just come out and say it:

Japanese squat toilets are damned difficult to use.

It has been said a million times over, and really it is just the fact that most "Westerners" (Euro-centric?) did not grow up using one, but it is really rather annoying to be in an elementary school trying to squat over this little elementary-sized hole in the floor and get done what you have to get done before your next class needs to be underway.  And that's not even taking into account the necessary cleaning maneuvers afterwards!

The potential difficulties of this somewhat (personally) confounding method of waste disposal are thrown into even starker relief in the case of Oshima Junior High, where one is situated in a stall immediately next to another stall containing a Toto Washlet 3000 Super Waste-Matic Hyper Plus, a contraption privy to the most modern amenities, including but not limited to: bidet!  spray wash!  variable water pressure!  heated seats!!  Truly quite the contrast.

On the up side though, the other day I was shopping in a department store and was offered a sample of some udon and soba noodles.  I took my noodles and hungrily started slurping away, downing them in no time.  I heard the woman remark to one of her co-workers on my skills, not with chopsticks, but with the slurping itself!  It is actually quite polite to slurp your noodles, as it not only has the practical effect of cooling them but also is just good manners.

So if you come to Japan, make sure to practice slurping up your noodles with a minimum of splashing, it'll have everyone suitably impressed.  Just don't forget to strengthen those leg muscles up plenty before you come too, just in case.  Ah the wonders of cross-cultural exchange.

future i-feel-like-i'm-in-the-past love,

-greg.

ps: was it too subtle?  did anyone catch it?

pps: oh, and of course get your legs ready if you go to Morocco, or India, or....